I spoke to a friend recently, and one of the things I told her was that when making decisions the reason for the choice is more important than the choice itself. This is something I have been personally working on for a while now.
I've found myself asking, how do I know if I'm making "the right" choice? Did I do the "right" thing?
Other than being told to stop dwelling on "right" and "wrong", the answer I kept getting was in the form of another question.
The voices said: "What was the reason you did or didn't do it?"
I would think about it and tell them.
"Do you agree with your reason?" They would ask.
"Yes" I have been saying for most of this year.
"Then you made the right choice," They would say and when they saw the apprehension on my face they would expand, "The outcome might not be what you think, but if you chose from the right reason and you agree with the reason you chose from then you are saying that the reason is enough to take a risk for. Does the reason matter enough to you to risk the worst possible outcome?"
If the answer was yes, then they would say, "Then it doesn't matter what the outcome is. If the reason is worth it, then stand by it. Prove that it's worth it even if everything appears to fall apart. Make the reason the most important thing and mean it."
If I said no they would ask, "What reason would be worth it?"
At which point I would have to spend some time considering reasons and what they were worth.
I have been thinking about some of the fears I have about possible future outcomes.
I can see some things working out in some ways, but they keep getting twisted and turned around. I don't understand what it means. I don't understand this.
"You don't need to understand" the voices say, "You aren't going to know everything. You need to focus on what is in front of you, not what might be ahead."
Ugh. I try to focus, but my thoughts wander, but what was the point of this or that? Why didn't this or that happen? Will this or that work out?
Then something small happened and somehow things flipped again (like they have been doing almost constantly lately) and I saw that outcomes really don't matter and here is why...
The outcome will ALWAYS be the same. Even if you flip it over a hundred times. The ultimate outcome of everything will NEVER CHANGE no matter what you do. Depending on your view of afterlife the outcome will always be either ETERNAL DEATH or ETERNAL LIFE. Either we will go on living in some other form or world or understanding or we will perish completely, but either way this current life will end. That will always be the outcome, no matter what the choice is.
So if death is always the outcome then trying to make decisions based on possible future outcomes is useless. The outcome doesn't change. You will always end up in the same place. That is why there is such a need to focus on the PRESENT moment and on making choices about what you want to experience on the way. It doesn't matter what the outcome is, what matters is that the choices you make right now are the ones you want to experience now or the ones that will take you toward what you hope to experience. This is where the reasons come in.
"What is the reason you made that choice?" The voices ask me.
"I want to know what unconditional love feels like."
"How does that choice help you feel that?"
"It teaches me this aspect of it."
"And if everything falls apart?"
"Then I'll learn how love lets go and endures no matter how much things break down around it. I'll learn about the strength of love."
"Then you made the right choice. Don't worry about the outcome. Enjoy where you are and all that you are learning right now."