I wanted to share the inspiration for this drawing because it was really meaningful to me.
It came from a dream I had about a month ago. In that dream I was really stressed out about not having a job and not knowing what I was going to do with my life. So I went to find a job on a college campus. There were groups of people there that represented different networks.
I saw one group of people and tried to talk to them, but they looked at me like I was disgusting. They knew I was broken and didn't belong. I felt really insecure and upset and I quickly left.
I was starting to feel frantic and hopeless when I walked past this table with three old women sitting around it knitting. One of them saw me and gestured for me to stop.
She spoke to me with gestures and without words I understood what she was saying.
Do you want to join us? She was asking.
I looked at their table. They had pictures of really plain looking birds with dark backgrounds, but they were knitting something with brightly, colored thread.
"I need to find a job" I tried to explain, "I need to make money."
She shook her head and smiled as if my concern were unimportant.
We go into dark places she explained, still without words and I saw what looked like an old prison with a cavern leading down beneath the rusted bars. We find these birds in the shadows, collect their images and re-create them so that others can see and appreciate them.
This time when I looked at the table I saw that what had looked like dull brown birds were actually glimmering with intricately woven patterns of color.
Beauty in the shadows; she seemed to say.
Then she handed me some needles and another lady brought a spool of red thread.
Sit with us. You'll like this work.
I sat down. I still felt anxious about not meeting my goal of finding a real job, but as they showed me how to knit I felt calm and even slightly happy, like I fit somewhere.
Maybe this will lead to some kind of paid work, I started to think but no, I already knew it wouldn't. Money wasn't the point of this activity.
This is a rare experience. I knew, enjoy it.