The Story Behind the Art: Wasting Time
This painting came about from (a vision? illusion?) something I saw while I was laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself one day.
Actually its a reoccurring whatever it is that I've seen since at least high school, maybe longer.
This is not a literal painting of what I saw. I don't know how to do a literal painting of that...
The thing that I saw wasn't just a thing. It was an experience (I guess). I felt myself detach from myself and found myself standing outside of time watching time flow by me like a film strip. There was a being near me. I couldn't see it but I could feel its presence. It's voice was deep and it spoke in impressions of thoughts rather than actual words. The best translation I can think of for the impression is: "You're wasting time. Is this how you want to spend your life?"
It wasn't accusatory or angry. It spoke in a matter of fact way, one that was meant to nudge me into 1. figuring out how I did want to spend this portion of my life and 2. taking action on whatever that decision ended up being. The first reaction I got from people who saw this painting was that it was dark.
I think it scared them. To be honest the experience always scares me too and leaves me shaken up. The figure is supposed to be large and imposing like the one who speaks to me in my experience. It's intimidating but it isn't actually bad. The figure in this painting is present and its message is meant to be heavy, but he is not evil, dark, or monstrous. He is actually like a teacher or a coach pushing you along.
Step back, he says, look at where you are going. Is this where you really want to be?