Reduce Pressure to Prevent Paralysis
I am all about dreaming big and going after those dreams.
You hear me talk about it all the time. It is a HUGE component of my coaching program (by the way “big” is subjective—for one person it could mean pursing fame and fortune, for another it might be overcoming an illness to live “normal” life).
It doesn’t matter how big the rest of the world considers your dream to be, but the importance of it to you. The reason dreams are such a big part of the work the I do, is because that desire to do or be something—whatever it is for you—is what provides the strength and motivation that you will need to push through the blockages that will inevitably come up and to dig deep and grow beyond your former limitations.
It is so important to have that motivation to inspire you to dig deep even when it becomes difficult, and you are being asked to go further than you ever have before.
Go after those dreams, go after those dreams, go after those dreams
Sometimes we can try to go too fast or approach a challenge as though it is swimming pool that you can dive into when it is actually a brick wall—ouch.
Give yourself enough of these experiences and instead of being motivated by your dreams you will feel crushed by the pain you have experienced and the seeming inevitability of them.
So what do you do?
I wrote a post a few months ago about baby steps. It’s an amazing technique that allows you to take something big and make it small.
But sometimes even those little steps can feel heavy and overwhelming.
When it feels this way, it is a good indication that there is too much pressure being applied.
The dream or goal you are pursuing SO IMPORTANT – that you CANNOT mess it up.
And the fear of messing it up, doing the wrong thing, taking that step that will put you on the ledge can be so overwhelming that you just stop moving.
The next step is too much. It’s too hard. It’s a brick wall and you can’t get past it.
So then what?
This is when your next step is not to plow ahead, it is to stop and reduce the pressure.
What is it that is causing you to break down?
What is the belief that you are holding onto that is keeping you from moving?
What feels so heavy that you cannot lift it?
And what can you do to alleviate it so that you can move forward again?
That is the next step.
Sometimes the pathway isn’t a straight line, that’s okay.
I like to think of it like a river. My big dream or goal is the ocean and I’m moving relentlessly (but sometimes slowly) towards it. Sometimes as I go I come up against challenges and I can dig in, find my strength and carry them along with me like a current plowing through debris, but sometimes I come up against a stone wall or a boulder that I cannot lift, so instead I go around, or erode the obstacle one little piece at a time.
Motion towards a goal does not have to be a straight line and it doesn’t have to be fast-paced, steady, or intense. Often this model is unsustainable.
Do not force your progress to be what it cannot be. Do not force yourself to do what you cannot do.
Instead do what you can. Do what you need to. Look at why you are crashing and unwork some of that pressure. Make it easier for yourself.
It’s okay to do so. Take your time, go with the process. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t have to be now.
It is yours. You can do it. When it is too heavy or too hard, find what you need to make it easier.