• Jaime Lang

Darkness


Sometimes I fear the encroaching darkness. I feel it press against me and whisper my deepest secrets; my most desperate longings, my worst fantasies and fears.

"You will not survive" it says, "You will not make it through this night. There will be no light left in you when we are through. All you believe in-- all that you love, all that you value-- will lay in ruins by morning. You will not survive this night."

I used to succumb to my fears. I believed the whispers of the dark and when they became screams I collapsed pleading to them for mercy.

"Don't take that!" I would beg, "Don't harm them, don't leave the blood of the people I love on my hands. Please torture me in any way that you must-- but don't do that!"

"Where is your light now?" The darkness would taunt, "Where is your hope? Your belief? This powerful love that overcomes all obstacles? It was all a lie and you were a fool to ever believe in it."

Then I would cry out in pain.

"You are nothing" the dark would crone, "There is nothing. You will not survive."

"Then kill me" I told it once, "I am tired of being threatened. I am tired of being afraid and feeling powerless in anguish. If you are going to destroy me then do it. Do it now! I want to see!"

The darkness lunged at me and I watched it dart forward and....

Nothing.

"I am not nothing," I realized then, getting onto my feet and finding my own voice once more, "I am not wrong to hope and believe and love. I WILL survive this night and the next and many after it. Those fears that you whispered and curses you screamed-- they were not MY fears. They were your own."

I looked at the darkness and it did not move.

"You have no substance" I told it then, "you are afraid. You have no faith, no hope, no idea how to love. You are shaking and crying and fighting because you know that YOU are the one who will not survive this night. You cannot survive it. I can live through both the dark and the light. I see the sun rise each morning and set each evening and then see it again and again but you only see the dark and in the light you are gone."

The dark quivered in its silence then.

"But don't worry" I whispered, my voice growing soft, "You may not know the light but I do and though you will die at the end of the night, I know you will be reborn in the morning not as this dark but as the light itself. You do not know yourself-- that you have two sides and you will not perish, but only transform. It is not easy to die each morning and wake each night with the knowledge of impending destruction. You are afraid, but I will sit with you. Hold my hand now-- don't hide. Lets wait together to see what kind of change the new day will bring."

#spirituality #PersonalGrowth

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